Fearless Flying

Christmas came early this year for us in the form of an unexpected phone call on Tuesday, November 11th. That Tuesday morning, I was struggling. Struggling with the frustration of the process not being finished yet. Struggling with the fact that we seemed to be lost in the system. Struggling with guilt over being frustrated that it seemed as though every path I have traveled has been littered in obstacles. Struggling with fear, and shame over being jealous of everyone who seemed to be having it's easy. You see, I love this crazy beautiful life I live - but like everyone - I can get caught up in the what ifs and the perpetual cycle of self doubt. Tuesday the 11th just happened to be a day off to celebrate the sacrifices of the heroes and veterans, and I was spending the morning wallowing in a pity party. I attribute most of it to anxiety from work over the prior weeks. Anyway.. That evening I called our caseworker back about some forms she asked that we update.. As we were talki...

I am going to begin this blog by saying I hope you all view this as a safe place, both for me to post my ramblings and for you to come and show support.  We are currently facing the endless challenges in place for obtaining our Foster Care licensing through our agency and the state. It seems that it comes with never ending checklists, purchases of things like fire extinguishers, baby gates, and a medicine lock box.  It is a beautiful journey as we prepare our home for the endless things we may or may not need for children from birth to age 8. We are blessed that we have friends who have stepped up and loaned us furniture, a few baby gear items, and volunteered their children's gently loved items. I cannot say thank you to them enough, and I hope that they know how grateful we are. I promise to pay it forward in the future. I am trying to not get overwhelmed by the impact preparing for this journey has had on us. It is a joy filled feeling, but some days I feel compl...