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Season of Patience

Fall is my favorite time of year - and I realize I share this sentiment with many others who love the crisp cool air, the pumpkin spice (yes I said it!) best of all - hooded sweatshirts. Last fall was when my partner and I began the journey to becoming Foster Parents. I dreamed that by this fall we would be playing in pumpkin patches with kiddos, and helping families reunify. Unfortunately, the state of North Carolina seems to take their own sweet time when it comes to processing paperwork. I am beginning to feel so impatient with the process, and there are days when I feel like we will never get everything approved. Currently, our pre-placement assessment is complete so we could technically start an adoption process, BUT we cannot foster. It all makes so little sense to me!  It is so hard to remind myself to take a step back and recognize that things happen for a reason and that there is a plan. 

I watched so many friends with their children on Halloween and part of me was so jealous that it almost blocked me up emotionally. Then I realized that those thoughts are ok, I need to embrace them and then let them go. I have seen a repeating theme among foster parenting blogs and it is "choose joy". I think this needs to be something I hold on to, and anchor myself in. I am attempting to make the conscious choice not to be overwhelmed by negative emotions that stem from disappointment but embrace the positive things in the delay of the process - more time to get my home ready, more time to prepare our relationship, more time to prepare our families. 

I am also accepting that this is probably a blessing in disguise - we have been juggling a lot of crazy things lately between work and home life - and I cannot imagine being able to manage a tiny human in the midst of this craziness - between long days and crises as work, battling though my own personal issues, and transitioning into this season of change - I am choosing to be thankful. 

On another note, this weekend we have been surprised with a blast of cold weather which has made for a good evening to bundle up and watch the WFTDA Champs :-) so thankful for technology and being able to watch amazing footage of a sport that keeps me sane! 


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