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Dear Self,
It's okay that you are anxious right now. You are scared, and you want to do all the things the right way. You're doing okay. Yes, these days seem long and the information is overwhelming. Embrace it. Give that new diagnosis a big hug, and remind yourself to take life on in the same way your sweet little one does. Arms wide open, eyes wide, heart full. Be confident in your ability to trust your own judgement. Remind yourself that these moments will pass all too quickly. 

What I just wrote is what I try and tell myself every day. I need these reminders. As a parent of a toddler with multiple different developmental concerns and deficits, I get caught up in the scary web I weave with the threat of anxiety. I want to do what is right, help her overcome all the obstacles in her path. I want to fight right next to her as she learns new skills, re-learns other ones, and conquers these mountains. 

Our current mountains include continued physical developmental delays, sensory processing deficits, eye issues with convergence, Epilepsy, and now the latest mountain is dysphagia with delayed swallow and some oral motor issues. These things make up the valleys in the mountains - but the peaks - the peaks are made of little girl laughs, sweet high fives, hugs, pretend play with puppies and baby dolls. The peaks are amazing, and the valleys are survivable with a team of people to lead us out. 

So I tell myself again... "Look up, find the sun, focus on the smile that little girl shows you, and breath. As cliche as it is, it is going to be okay."

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